Early on in my career as a Collaborative Attorney, other family attorneys would say to me, "when I have people consult with me who get along, I'll send them to you". I would chuckle because to my mind, people who are getting along as they go through divorce are probably not in a family attorney's office. There's a misconception about the Collaborative Process. Some people think it's Kumbaya; others think it's a magic pill. Both imply it is easy and conflict free.
The Collaborative Process really is neither. And it certainly involves conflict. In reality, each Collaborative case is as unique as the couple who comes to it. Many of them are filled with conflict and are messy because human beings and human relationships are messy. One of the things that makes the Collaborative Process so amazing is that it allows the messiness and the complexity to come through while helping the couple get to the other side.