From the desk of My Collaborative Team President, Edward S. Sachs, ACP

We should always be questioning ourselves.  Not second guessing what we do, but questioning whether what we did was the right thing to do.  Did my actions have a negative effect on the Process?  Did my actions move the Process forward?  By always asking, we will always be improving.

Our Ethical Standards require that we not only monitor ourselves, but monitor each other on the team.  That is the purpose of debriefing after every meeting and at any time during the Process that it is needed.

One of the most predominant questions I ask myself is am I remaining neutral?  

How do you remain neutral when one of the clients is being unreasonable?  Of course, that unleashes the question of “What is unreasonable?”  And many of the times they are being unreasonable they are acting contrary to the Participation Agreement.  I have one case in which the wife will not settle unless the husband pays dearly for his indiscretions during the marriage.  And this is above and beyond the credit she is receiving for his dissipation of assets.  She bullies him and tries to guilt him into things.  How do you remain neutral?  In another case the husband is being totally unreasonable in being unwilling to split an asset that is clearly marital.

What about when you have a controlling client or one who is trying to dominate the Process and the outcome?  How do you maintain neutrality in these matters.  Join us tomorrow to learn more as Steven Wolhandler, JD, MA, LPC , author of Protecting Yourself from Emotional Predators leads our Advanced Training on Managing Dominating Parties in the Collaborative Process.