Written by My Collaborative Team Marketing Director Eric Sachs
Trust is often described as the foundation of the Collaborative Process, but we don't always stop to consider how that trust is actually built. It isn't established simply because everyone agrees to participate in good faith or signs a Participation Agreement. Trust develops gradually, often through dozens of small interactions that reassure participants they are safe, respected, and fully included in the process.
For families entering a Collaborative matter, this may be one of the most emotionally vulnerable periods of their lives. They are making decisions that will shape their finances, their parenting relationships, and their future. Many are experiencing grief, anxiety, uncertainty, or fear. Neuroscience tells us that when people are under stress, their ability to process information, retain details, and make thoughtful decisions is diminished. In other words, the very moment they need clarity the most is often when clarity is hardest to achieve.
That reality places a unique responsibility on Collaborative professionals. Every conversation, every meeting, and every document either strengthens a participant's confidence in the process or quietly chips away at it.
One of the simplest and most powerful ways to build trust is through the language we use.
Professionals naturally become fluent in the vocabulary of their disciplines. Attorneys speak in legal terms, financial neutrals discuss tax implications and asset classifications, and mental health professionals rely on terminology grounded in psychology and conflict resolution. Over time, these words become second nature. What is easy to forget is that they are often unfamiliar to the people sitting across the table.
When participants hear language they don't understand, many will simply nod. Few people want to interrupt a meeting to admit they are confused, particularly when everyone else in the room appears to understand. They may leave believing they missed something important or worrying that they have agreed to something they don't fully comprehend. That uncertainty can quietly undermine the trust that Collaborative Practice works so hard to establish.
Plain language changes that dynamic.
Using everyday language is not about oversimplifying complex legal or financial concepts. It is about making those concepts accessible. A participant should never feel as though understanding the process requires a law degree or years of professional experience. They should leave every meeting feeling informed, capable, and confident that they know what decisions are being made and why.
This principle extends well beyond our conversations. It should influence every document we prepare.
Collaborative Professionals often devote considerable time to crafting thoughtful settlement agreements, memoranda, parenting plans, and financial summaries. We carefully ensure they are legally sound and technically accurate. Yet we may spend far less time asking whether the participants themselves can easily understand what they are reading.
Imagine a participant pulling out their settlement agreement five years after the divorce is finalized. Could they read it and clearly understand what it says without calling an attorney to translate it? If the answer is no, perhaps the document serves the professionals better than it serves the family.
Plain-language documents do not sacrifice precision. They simply communicate that precision more effectively. Shorter sentences, active voice, logical organization, and clear explanations help participants understand not only what the agreement says but why it matters. When legal terminology is necessary, a brief explanation often makes all the difference.
There is another psychological benefit to plain language that is easy to overlook. Understanding creates a sense of control.
Much of the anxiety people experience during divorce comes from uncertainty. They worry about outcomes they cannot predict and decisions they fear they may not fully understand. Every time a Collaborative Professional explains a concept in clear, accessible language, they reduce that uncertainty. Participants begin to feel like active decision-makers instead of passengers being carried through an unfamiliar process.
It also reflects one of the defining values of Collaborative Practice. Unlike adversarial litigation, where professionals often become the primary decision-makers and strategists, Collaborative Practice is intentionally designed to empower participants. Empowerment cannot exist without understanding. People cannot make informed decisions if they do not fully comprehend the options before them.
The language we choose therefore becomes much more than a communication style. It becomes an expression of respect. It tells participants that we want them to understand every step of the process, not because we have to explain it, but because they deserve to understand it.
As Collaborative Professionals, we often focus on developing better negotiation skills, strengthening our interdisciplinary teamwork, and improving our conflict management techniques. Those are all worthy pursuits. Yet perhaps one of the most meaningful improvements we can make is also one of the simplest: speaking and writing in a way that our participants immediately understand.
Trust is rarely built through dramatic moments. More often, it grows through consistent experiences of clarity, transparency, and respect. Every plain-language explanation, every thoughtfully written agreement, and every conversation that leaves participants feeling informed reinforces the message that this process truly belongs to them.
When participants trust the process, they are more willing to engage in difficult conversations, explore creative solutions, and make thoughtful decisions about their future. In the end, that trust may be one of the most valuable outcomes Collaborative professionals can help create—and sometimes, it begins with nothing more complicated than choosing simpler words.
