In Monday’s newsletter we featured a story from family law attorney and My Collaborative Team member, Irene King. She spoke intimately about the trauma and affect that was left on her by her parents heavily litigated grey divorce. This story resonated with many of our readers who shared their comments below.
From Joryn Jenkins:
“Oh, my goodness! This story tears my heart into tiny, fractured pieces. I, at least, lost my father to divorce when I was seven, so I never suffered the incredibly horrifying impact on that close 35-year relationship with a parent, that you, Irene, suffered, FOR NO GOOD REASON. I grieve for you and am heartsick with you, as I know that anyone reading this is. Thank you so much for sharing your family’s history and your loss.”
And the stunningly positive spin on it that it has had on your practice. Hardly anything for you to be thankful for, but I know that the rest of the world should be. Thank you again.
From Rebecca Fischer:
“Irene: What tremendous courage to tell your story. What incredible depths of pain and yet compassion to make a different choice. I am sorry for what you experienced. I am truly sorry you father’s attorney most likely will never get the devastation he wrought. How fortunate are we Collaborative Professionals to walk with you among us?”
From Roxanne Cull:
“Thanks for taking the time to write this article. I am a Family/Child Specialist in our Collaborative Law Professionals of Pierce County (near Seattle, WA) practice group, a Collaboratively trained licensed psychotherapist and mediator. I do more and more collaborative cases, despite them being much more draining than most of my regular clients, because kids of any age should never suffer like you have. (And I did….) I hope you can heal from this horrifically deep wound. Take good care.”
Whether good or bad, our life experiences help shape who we are as people. We use what we learn and know from first-hand experiences to navigate future situations. Often Collaborative Professionals use their experience in horrific litigation battles to make the paradigm shift, but sometimes harnessing the pain and anguish we feel to prevent others from repeating those situations can be just as effective.
IACP Ethical Standard 3.2D. requires us as Collaborative professionals to consider the impact that our own experiences, values, opinions, beliefs, and behaviors will have on the Collaborative matter. Standard 3.4C. requires us to examine the impact of any professional’s own conduct upon the functioning of the team and the Process.
To be the most effective Collaborative professional, we must all be mindful of our own self and how we impact the Process.
Do you have a story you have been thinking of sharing? Start by joining our CollaBARate Happy Hour every Friday. We provide a safe and inviting environment that can help you gain the confidence you need to share your experience.
