Curiosity - Yeah - Yeah - Blah - Blah
But we have to be productive! Clients expect us to get the job done, right?!
When couple conflict shows up in the collaboration room, do you struggle to remain curious? Do you (sometimes) worry that clients will perceive it a “waste of time” to talk about what matters, because they hired us to get the job done – yesterday!? Are you tired of trying to balance your desire for deeper dialogue with your need to be productive, and finding that your over-active “fixer” talents tend to take over?
When you ask divorce professionals what gets in the way of our "getting the job done", the most common answer is: the clients' behaviours - the defensive reactions, the blaming "barbs", the expression of strong emotions in a manner that feeds the defensiveness of the other spouse - or fuels the protective actions of the advocates (a.k.a. lawyers).
So why take time to be curious - and how could it possibly save time? Let's look at the science.
Learning something new changes us – it opens us up to discovery and feeds our souls. It leads to insights that stay with us forever, and it makes us happier people because, let’s face it, being a “know-it-all” gets old! (Try being a “Learn-it-all” instead!)
Curiosity Calms - it brings these positive emotions to the receiver of your curiosity as you demonstrate a sincere desire to understand
- Satisfaction
- Tension Relief
- Security
And BONUS - the same positive emotions benefit the GIVER of curiosity (that’s us!).
Believe the neuroscience. It tells us that when people feel heard and understood, they calm – and calm people are more open to the insights needed to effectively deal with their “stuff”.
This is how curiosity saves time. And with so many other benefits, there’s something in it for everyone.
Want to learn to be a more curious collaborator? The Curious Mediator 2024 starts February 13th and runs for four months. Check it out here.
