READ IT ON WEDNESDAY…. DISCUSS IT ON FRIDAY AT 1 P.M. Eastern AT THE THINK TANK

At one point, while attending the IACP Forum in Vancouver last week, I thought I would have to buy another suitcase for my return home.  I was picking up so many tools for my Collaborative toolbox that I didn’t think I would have room for them all.  I can assure you that I will have multiple blogs covering all that I learned.

The most compelling presentation was The Art of Impasse-Breaking in Collaborative Cases by David Hoffman.  If you have never heard David speak, you are missing a great opportunity to learn.

One section of his presentation was on the power of Metaphor.  I am such a big fan of metaphor to help our clients understand our Process and understand their emotions.  David taught me a new one.  Imagine you are driving your car.  You have a big front windshield to see what is ahead of you and a small rear-view mirror to see what is behind.  The more you dwell on the past, the bigger that rear-view mirror gets and obstructs your view of what is ahead.  So, let’s keep working on the future and not dwell on the past.

And then, I learned from a member of the audience, Pam Masters from Florida, a new way to look at the airplane metaphor.  I have always used this metaphor to describe the Process.  The client is the passenger and gets to make the ultimate decision of where we go, our destination.  The professional team is the planes crew.  We will get you to your destination, a signed agreement.  But we fly the plane, hence control the Process.  Pam described the metaphor differently.  The clients are the pilots and there is no door between them and the cabin.  The passengers are their children.  If you argue, they will hear you.  If you don’t keep looking and moving forward, you are endangering the flight.  I love this interpretation.

Coincidentally, I just received a flyer from Collaborative Divorce Solutions of Orange County, California announcing their November meeting as a free Zoom event open to My Collaborative Team members and friends.  The presentation is titled Stories that Settle: Metaphors as a Tool for Peacemaking and presented by Hon. Francisco F. Firmat (Ret) a 27 year Orange County judge.  Register in advance RIGHT HERE.