Many people may have experienced changes over the last two years because of the pandemic. Some of the changes are temporary and some permanent.  My relationship with a very dear friend changed drastically during this time.  There were feelings of hurt, betrayal, mistrust, among others like anger.  There was blaming and defending.

We recently reconnected at a social event.  It felt awkward to me—having once been really close, we are now more like acquaintances. I wasn’t sure how to behave.

This reminds me of what many of our clients experience.  Their once very intimate relationships relegated to cordial interactions.  At least this is what we expect of them.  That as they work through their Collaborative process, they learn to put aside negative feelings in order to “dance together at their children’s weddings” and to cooperate for the benefit of their children.  We want them to preserve their relationships instead of destroying them.

These are laudable goals.  Maybe they are an example of what it means to grow up.  Yet, during post-divorce interactions with their former spouses, many of our clients may be feeling similarly awkward feelings.  While we have high hopes that they will be able to learn to go from intimate to acquaintance, let’s always remember that the road to that goal may be awkward, bumpy, and difficult.  Yet it remains our hope.