From the desk of My Collaborative Team President, Edward S. Sachs, ACP

I always try to be mindful of the language that I and other professionals use, especially in team meetings.  One of the cornerstones of Interest Based Negotiations and the Collaborative Process is good communication. I believe communication is enhanced using common and personal language.

In a Collaborative matter we do not have parties, clients, a husband and wife; we have either a mother and father or Nancy and Bob. Think about it. You don’t refer to the other professionals by their roles.  You refer to them by name.  Why should Nancy and Bob, or Mom and Dad be treated differently. I know Mom and Dad is a “role,” but it is a personal title that reminds the parents why we are in this Process.

We do not make offers, or settlement proposals, we offer options. Language can make people positional.

And one of my biggest bugaboos!!! Collaborative matters should not receive legal titles. This is not the dissolution matter of Smith v Smith. In fact, it is not Smith v Smith!!! It is the Smith Collaboration.  

When speaking, think of your clients as you would think of your children or grandchildren. If you model and utilize good language their behavior will be governed accordingly.

Use regular language. The more comfortable the conversation the more likely the parties will remain calm, clear headed and mindful of the Process.