Who I am
I grew up in Milroy, Minnesota, a tiny town of 268 people that, in the 1960’s was like living in a Norman Rockwell painting. While more than four decades of urban living has toughened me up a bit, I have retained romanticized notions about life’s possibilities.
I am not sure how this all led me to a career in family law but that is where I landed, and where I have remained since 1982. I think I was drawn to this work because of my passion for kids and relationships.
I realize it may seem odd that someone who believes in relationships would go into a business in which relationships are in disrepair and kids are faced with conflict. That’s not how I see it. Helping people who are facing challenges in their relationships is more rewarding; provided we can find the best way to help them.
I suppose the other reason I got into the family law business is because I like kids. I started out as a kid, (many years ago), and went on to have three of my own, (with some help from my wife of 40 years). Now my kids are even having kids; we are expecting our third grandchild very soon and loving every bit of it.
What I have done
I graduated with honors from the University of St. Thomas and with honors from the University of Minnesota Law School in 1982.
For the first 15 years of my practice, I helped families in the traditional way; using the court, or at least the threat of court, to protect my clients and their children. And I was good at it. I received significant recognition as a good trial lawyer and I impressed most of my clients. The person I failed to impress was myself. I could not help to see that, using these traditional methods often led to long term damage to relationships, and even to children that seemed intolerable, even when my clients ‘won”.
That was when I started looking for better ways. During the past 20 years, most of my practice has been spent helping my clients get better outcomes, through “out-of-court” strategies. In many ways this has been more difficult; steering people who are angry and scared away from their impulses can feel like swimming upstream on some days. But I’ve come to really believe in it; and I have found (and even helped develop) some truly innovative ways to help my clients get better outcomes through things like Collaborative Law and mediation. I have even become internationally recognized for my work in these new areas, (see below). As much as I take pride in what we have accomplished at Ousky Law office, it is very humbling work. I learn new things every day.
In 2006, I co-authored The Collaborative Way to Divorce: The Revolutionary Method that Results in less Stress, Lower Costs and Happier Kids, Without Going to Court, with Stu Webb, the founder of Collaborative Law. In 2015, I was awarded the Lawyer as Problem Solver Award by the American Bar Association. I have had the opportunity to speak at many events and forums on the topic of Collaborative Law and I have conducted training seminars throughout North America, South America and Europe.
I have handled thousands of family law cases, including hundreds of cases in each of the following areas: traditional negotiation; mediation; Collaborative Law and litigation. I am also the cofounder of the Collaborative Alliance Executive Suites, believed to be the largest interdisciplinary family law center in the world.
I have always said that if I ever reach a point where helping families in transition becomes uninteresting to me, I will happily retire. But I feel I am a long way from that point. Every client who walks through the door presents a new story, a new opportunity to grow; a chance to help someone who is going through one of the most difficult times in their life find a better way.
