Collaborative law is an interest-based process. It is a process that requires that you look at the true interests, goals, and priorities of the couple and their family, so you can discuss them and use them as the basis for your settlement. When decisions are based on what is important to the parties, you honor and help achieve their goals. Collaborative law allows both parties to honor each of their goals, interests, and priorities as best as possible.

Interests are different from positions. A position usually has only one possible answer – such as who will get the Tesla? An interest has a myriad of possible answers: the interest behind the position of wanting the Tesla might be the need to have appropriate and reliable transportation. Interests form the basis for truly satisfying your needs and are often wide-ranging.

A position is what you decide you want in a particular situation.  It’s a predetermined and a specific solution to a problem you want to solve or a need that must be met.  It may be the amount of money that you want.  It may be a certain asset or the length of alimony. Behind every position is an interest.  An interest represents the need or want that motivated you to select the item you want to arrive at your solution.  Interests are often rooted in human needs.  When you tell the other party what you must have, you are taking a position.  When a person becomes overly focused on their position they can become entrapped.

Consider the story of the two men in a library. One wants the window open and the other wants it closed. They bicker back and forth about how much to leave it open: a crack, halfway, three-quarters of the way. No solution satisfies them both. Enter the librarian. She asks one why he wants the window open: "To get some fresh air." She asks the other why he wants it closed: "To avoid the draft." After thinking a minute, she opens wide a window in the next room, bringing in fresh air without a draft.

Reconciling interests rather than positions works because for every interest there usually exists several possible positions that could satisfy it.

To help identify interests:

• Ask why? "What's your basic concern, Mr. Smith, in wanting the Tesla?"
• Put yourself in the other side's shoes and think about what interests of theirs are standing in the way of them saying "yes" to what they see you asking for
• Realize that each side has multiple interests
• The most powerful interests are basic human needs (security, economic well-being, a sense of belonging, recognition, control over one's life) – if you can take care of such basic needs, you increase the chance of both reaching an agreement.

Discuss interests in an open forum:

• Be upfront and specific – make sure the other side understands exactly how important and legitimate your interests are.
• Actively listen to and acknowledge the other side's interests
• State the problem before your interest
• Focus on the future, not justifying the past
• Be firm in talking about your interests but at the same time soft on the people you are negotiating with – listen with respect, show them courtesy, express appreciation for their effort, emphasize your concern for meeting their needs.

Once the interests are defined, the next step is to generate options using brainstorming. In brainstorming our intent is to come up with as many ideas as possible no matter how ridiculous they may sound.  When brainstorming has been exhausted, then we can evaluate and take a closer look at each option.

Four common obstacles inhibit the inventing of an abundance of options:

1. Premature judgement
2. Searching for the single answer - People in negotiations naturally focus on achieving the position they want instead of expanding the scope of solutions from which to address each other’s interests.
3. Cookie cutter mentality
4. Not caring about coming up with creative solutions for addressing the other side's interests

To successfully invent options:

• At sessions in which you are inventing options, all parties postpone criticism and evaluation of ideas. Participants sit side by side facing the problem to reinforce the mental attitude of tackling a common problem together. After brainstorming, recap and star the most promising ideas and decide which to carry into the negotiation process

While brainstorming with the other side, reduce risk of appearing committed to any given idea by advancing at least two alternatives at the same time.

• Broaden your options by identifying themes from specific ideas from which you can generate more ideas, looking at the problem from a different perspective
• Look for mutual gain by identifying shared interests and treating them as a shared goal to make the negotiation smoother and more amicable.
• Try to make the decision easy for the other side by putting yourself in their shoes and looking for precedents.